Documentary
by Cranky Cathe
Summary: For fun, TÃ©a and her almighty camcorder journey out into the unknown of what is called voyeurage! Her victims? The boys. Warnings: Future slash-ness, OOC-ness, and everyone-bashing-ness... That's always fun, ne? ^_^
1. Tristan

TITLE × Documentary  
RATING × PG-13... more like PG-16. Y'know, suggestive-ness-ness-ness-ness-ness, 'specially with Tristan.  
GENRE × Humor  
SUMMARY × For fun, Téa and her almighty camcorder journey out into the unknown of what is called... uhh... what was the question again?  
WARNINGS × Slash-ness, OOC-ness, and everyone-bashing-ness... That's always fun, ne? ^_^  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE ××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××   
  
Cathe: *to her stuffed doggy* Yeah, I like Teletubbies. Especially the yellow one. When are we going on air again?  
  
Téa: *points to the readers*  
  
Cathe: HOLY-!!! Ahem... so like... Hullo there, and welcome to a twisted and wrong fanfiction written by me and my new muse, a Téa clone I bought in an alley by a guy who calls himself the Ruler of the Deepest Shadows Found in the Valley of Darkness!  
  
Téa: You ARE the weakest link! Good-bye! *trap door opens under Cathe and she falls to her doom* Muahahahahah. Wait, I can do better... *clears throat* MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAH!!! *eyes glow red* JOIN THE DARK SIDE! OBEY YOUR MASTER! OR I SHALL ANNIHILATE YOU ALL! *normal again* Thank you all. *angelic smile*  
  
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DISCLAIMER × This is insulting. This is insulting to us and the readers! What kind of stupid sh[bleep]t do you take us for?! F[bleep]ck this, I'm leavin' this to someone else.  
  
The Fat Hugging Guy From Dave Matthews Band's Video 'Everyday': Hullo kiddies! Gimme a hug!!! *everyone runs away* Oh well!!! Cranky Cathe does not own Yu-Gi-Oh!!! *hugs a random person wandering by*  
  
Random Person Wandering By: EEEEEEEEEEEAAAAIIIIIIIYAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs away*  
  
The Fat Hugging Guy From Dave Matthews Band's Video 'Everyday': Ooooh, he wants me. *eyebrows go up and down*  
  
××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××   
  
Note: [[ ... ]] is what we see on the camera.  
  
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[[ Téa is facing the camera. She looks in both directions and sighs in relief. ]]  
  
Téa: Hi. I'm doing a documentary on my unsuspecting friends. They don't know it, but they're being filmed... just think 'Candid Camera,' 'kay? 'Kay.  
  
[[ Téa's face gets offscreen. Apparently she is now the eye behind the camera and filming has started. ]]  
  
Téa's voice: Our first victim is a close friend I call Taylor. Tristan Taylor. *hushed giggling* Okay, I know, that was lame.  
  
[[ A street, slowly moving towards a point beneath the screen. Obviously, Téa is walking to Tristan's house. The view abruptly turns to face a lovely stucco house with a white picket fence. ]]  
  
Téa's voice: Okay, this is it. Tristan's house, I mean. His bedroom window should be on the east side...  
  
[[ We see a window on the side of her house; Téa nears it. As we near it, we can hear sounds of... whooting?! ]]  
  
Téa's voice: Ooooh, this is gonna be good!  
  
[[ Tristan is sitting on his bed facing a TV with a blanket on his lap covering one of his hands. He has no pants on and his shirt is soaked with sweat. ]]  
  
Téa's voice: My goodness... oh, Miho is gonna be SO FREAKED when she finds out about this.  
  
[[ Tristan is cheering at the TV, "Harder, HARDER!!!" He suddenly grunts and falls backwards on his bedsheets, blinking and gasping for breath. ]]  
  
Téa's voice: Is that all? Oh c'mon Tristan, gimme something to laugh about.  
  
[[ As if obeying to her commands, Tristan straightened up and raised the hand that was under his blanket and licked a thick white liquid off his fingers very much like a kitten. ]]  
  
Téa's voice: *a little too loud* Jackpot!  
  
Tristan: *with a finger in his mouth* Er...? What's that? *turns to the window*  
  
[[ The camera ducks down; we can no longer see in the window. It turns to face Téa. ]]  
  
Téa: *clearly disgusted* That was waaaaay too close. I still can't believe... I hope Joey's not the same way. This is the end for today, tomorrow, I'm doin' Yugi!  
  
[[ Fade out. End. ]]  
  
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Cathe: Okay, that was short, but I wanted to end it for now.  
  
Tristan: WHAT THE F[bleep]CK DID YOU DO THAT TO ME FOR?! I THOUGHT YOU LIKED ME!!!  
  
Cathe: Aw, Tristan! I DO like you, it's just... y'know, comedic purposes.  
  
Tristan: *foaming at the mouth* YOU!!! ARE!!! SO!!! DEAD!!! *tears the door down and brandishes it over Cathe*  
  
Cathe: Aaaaaaah!!! Don't!!! *runs*  
  
Tristan: *runs after*  
  
Téa: Cathe and Tristan's gone, guess I'll hafta end this fic! ^_^ ......NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs at random passerbys, pointing out a finger at them and going "Pshew! Pshew!"*  
  
Joey: .........Uhh... review....? *gets 'shot' by Téa and collapses* Ow. 


	2. Yugi

TITLE Documentary  
RATING PG-13... more like PG-16. Y'know, suggestive-ness-ness-ness-ness-ness, 'specially with Tristan.  
GENRE Humor  
SUMMARY For fun, Téa and her almighty camcorder journey out into the unknown of what is called voyeurage. Her victims? The boys.  
WARNINGS Slash-ness, OOC-ness, and everyone-bashing-ness... That's always fun, ne? ^_^  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE -----------  
  
Yugi: Nooooooooooooo, can't be my turn already!!!  
  
Tristan: Shut up, you're only second.  
  
Yugi: *awkward silence* ...............NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!  
  
Téa: *gives him a teddy bear*  
  
Yugi: TEDDY!!! *hug-ness*  
  
Tristan and Téa glance at each other.  
  
Tristan: *sigh* I wish I was as easily amused.  
  
Téa: Yeah.  
  
A cloud floats by.  
  
Téa: LOOK! A CLOUD!!!  
  
Both: Oooooooooooooooooooooooh!!!  
  
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DISCLAIMER ?ZzZzZzZzZzZz..... duuuuuuuuh.... *drools* zZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZz...  
  
Joey: Wake up, foo! *slaps Cathe*  
  
Cathe: POTSTICKERS!!! Uh, I mean, uh, I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. Can I go back to sleep now?  
  
Joey: .............--;;..................  
  
Cathe: Cool! *snoozes*  
  
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[[ Fade in to Téa ]]  
  
Téa: Hi! And welcome to the second day of my documentary thingy... thing. Uh, forget I said that. Anyways, today, Yugi is going to the park. Shall we follow? *impish grin*  
  
[[ The camera turns to face the Turtle Game Shop. ]]  
  
Téa's voice: Here is the Turtle Game Shop! A shop in which Yugi's grandpa, Solomon, sells Duel Monsters cards and hits on his female customers! Huh, explains why you don't see many girls in there... besides me... Ah-anyways! Shall we "check out" what goes on inside?  
  
[[ Téa puts the camera in her bag so only the lens sticks out. This isn't the most useful way of hiding a camera but since I'm using dub names assume everyone's stupid enough not to notice. ]]  
  
Solomon: Why, hi, Téa! Buying something? I've got a special fairy-based booster pack on a special price I think you might like! I put it together myself *winkwink*  
  
Téa: Uh, I'm here for Yugi...  
  
Solomon: Yugi! Always here for Yugi, ain't you... Sometimes I'm jealous of the young'un, having beautiful gals like you visiting on a whim! What does he have that I don't have? Huh, Téa??? *grabs her collar desperately* TE-E-E-E-E-ELL ME!!!  
  
Téa: O_O *grabs her bag and runs upstairs* BYE GRAMPS!!! *mutters* Old friggin' geezer...  
  
Solomon: *sniffles* Te-e-e-e-ell me...  
  
Téa: *bursts open Yugi's room door* HI YU--gi...? *straightens her bag for the camera*  
  
Yugi: *looks up from sniffing a certain white powder* T?!!! *puts powder away and stumbles towards Téa. Hi... what's up! Oh yeah, you said we'd go to the park today! Umm... should we take Joey and Tristan?  
  
Téa: I was thinking this could be for the two of us, but okay!!!  
  
Yugi: *kneels near his bed and whistles* Joey! Tristan! Come out, boys!  
  
[[ Joey and Tristan scramble out of the beds, naked save for a single dog collar and leash. ]]  
  
Joey: What is it, Yug'? I was having such a good time in there, too--TÉA?! *decents himself with a blankey* Uhh... hi, Téa! Didn't notice you there...  
  
Tristan: What he means is he was too busy amusing himself with my certain anatomic parts he miraculously couldn't hear your abnormally loud, screechy, über-annoying voice.  
  
Téa: *growls* *thinks* I'm getting all this on camera... and you're on it TWICE! So shut up or... blackmail...  
  
Tristan: *already dressed (Jou's still trying to get on his boxers)* Uh, Téa, what are you glaring funny at me for...?  
  
Téa: *nervous giggle* Oh, nothing! Ha ha ha... so shall we, Yugi?  
  
Yugi: Okay! *links arms with Téa and they skip off*  
  
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[[ Joey and Tristan are on a merry-go-round. Joey gets on the disc while Tristan spins it. The merry-go-round becomes a blur, Joey falls off, Tristan laughs. Repeat. ]]  
  
Yugi: Téa...?  
  
Téa: Yeah?  
  
Yugi: I have something to tell you... something imporant?  
  
Téa: Yeah?  
  
Yugi: I...  
  
Téa: Yeah?  
  
Yugi: I... I...  
  
Téa: Yeah?  
  
Yugi: I... I... I...  
  
Téa: Yeah?  
  
Yugi: I... NEED MORE COCAINE!!! *runs back to the Game Shop, gets lost, and gets his deck stolen by the Rare Hunters*  
  
Téa: O...kay... I guess that's all for today... *looks at Joey and Tristan, who are by now, lather-rinse-repeating...* *turns off the camera*  
  
[[ Fade-out. End. ]]  
  
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Yugi: My... my deck!!!  
  
Cathe: Who cares about your deck...!  
  
Yugi: Well, all my fans, for one! And all the fans of my cards! Like the Dark Magician or Celtic Guardian...  
  
Cathe: Soo--*gets run over by mentioned fans*  
  
Joey: So. Who's next? *everybody looks at him* ...gulp. 


End file.
